love me
by Apple of Shinigami
Summary: kill me


It all started at the beginning of our high school life, we were fresh out from elementary school,

you and Honoka always stood by my side.

We were first years back then, I remember I was standing near the entrance gate waiting for the both of you to arrive, you were the first one to arrive, you smiled at me radiantly as if you could rival the sun's brightness with that smile.

" _Umi-chan"_

Hearing you say my name gives me this weird sensations that I have never felt before, my heart was beating rapidly as I stutter out a reply.

I was really happy to see you even if we always hang out during summer break, but seeing you right now makes my heart race in a strange pattern and how you always make my face feel hot.

As the two of us were chatting while waiting for our childhood friend, I can see that your eyes light up whenever you talk about something interesting and how you would giggle nervously when I remind you of something embarrassing.

Finally after waiting for ten minutes Honoka finally arrived, she apologized for being late saying that she had overslept while scratching the back of her head, sighing I wonder why I'm not surprised anymore I told them that we should start moving to avoid being late on the first day.

As the three of us were walking I stole a glance from you as both you and Honoka were chatting animatedly, somehow it makes my chest tighten I don't know why but it somehow does, ignoring this I continuously walk until we reached our destined place.

At lunch time I saw you walk towards Honoka and invited her for lunch, I wondered why you chose to walk over at Honoka's place as you were just sitting in front of me but I didn't let it get to me, I gather my own packed lunch and walked over to them.

The three of us settled under the shade of a big tree we were in awe at how beautiful the school grounds looks from here, as we were eating you looked at my lunch and was fascinated at how elegant it looked you asked if you could have some I nodded and pick up some egg rolls, you opened your mouth as if you were waiting for me to feed you. Blushing I nervously fed you my gaze suddenly froze on your lips I wondered how soft they are-

Stopping myself I realized something, something shameless for a person like me my eyes widening

' _I like Minami Kotori.'_

That was the time I realized that I liked you

On our second year my feeling had gotten stronger, your simple touch makes my heart beats like crazy how it makes me want to tell you to say my name over and over again.

But…

I can see that you liked someone else…

I first found out when Honoka asked me if there's someone I like, stuttering I gave the answer 'No' but of course that was a complete lie. When Honoka turned to ask you the same question I could see your cheek turn a bit red and replied.

' _maybe'_

I cried at my room that night, but I know that I shouldn't be selfish, unless you're happy I'm happy even when it hurts.

I did everything for you even if I wasn't the one you like, the reason why I'm doing this is because I want to see you smile even if you like someone else, even if that someone else was not me…

One day we were on cleaning duty we were chatting animatedly but then you suddenly brought up your crush, you were so happy having talk about him, your eyes was so alive that I envy the person you liked.

Souma Kirigaya, you told me his name was, he's in second year of high school similar to us, and that he's in the track team.

I don't know what happened but I suddenly have the urge to kiss you, I walked over to your direction and gripped your wrist and forcefully but gently kissed you. I got no reply from you but what I saw made me regret what I did, shocked shifted into disgust and anger you shouted.

"W-What are you doing?! Get away from me!" you shouted while rapidly wiping your mouth with disgust.

"I-I-I'm s-sorry" I said before rushing out the door.

I run as fast as I can and as far away from you as possible.

' _What have I done?'_

I didn't talk to you for weeks and turns out you that the person you like are now happily going out, it hurts to see you smile like that and how you would just walk pass me while talking to some of our classmates but what hurt the most is that someone has caught your interest.

But I don't care at least you're happy.

Months passed and somehow my feelings for you calmed down a bit though I stopped calling you ' _Kotori'_ and refer to you as 'Minami-san', I know that it's cruel of me to suddenly stop calling you that but it's the only way I could escape this.

One time when I was scheduled for cleaning duty I saw you meet up with your 'boyfriend',

Though I ignore it, my feelings won't disappear that fast, after cleaning I gathered my stuff and left the school grounds.

.

.

.

I was on my way to the archery club when I opened my locker there was a letter, it was pink in color and my name visible written with a neat penmanship, I read the letter and blushed at the thought of someone liking me, turning my attention back to the letter It says that she would be meeting me on the rooftop around 4:30, at the end of the note was words which says

' _Anonymous'_

Reaching the rooftop I saw someone with blonde hair waiting with her back turned, softly knocking on the door of the rooftop to get her attention she turned startled but her eyes soften as soon as she saw that it was me.

Walking towards me I observed that she has blue eyes, she has a body of a model and that she was a third year according to her ribbon.

"You came" she said softly with a smile on her face

"I was afraid that you won't come but I know that you will, the great Sonoda is too kind for that"

"Umm"

"Oh that's right I haven't introduced myself" she nervously said

"My name is Ayase Eli I-I have been observing you from afar and that I really admire your kindness and loyalty, I know that I just met you b-but please w-will you go out with me?!" she said while clutching her skirt with her eyes shut fearing of rejection.

I don't understand why but somehow this girl has something that's similar with yours but different.

Figuring that I should also introduce myself I bowed down as a sign of respect

"My name is Sonoda Umi nice to meet you Ayase Eli." I said and looked at her with a smile

"Y-you don't have to bow Sonoda-san" she said as she tries to make me stop bowing

"I cannot return your feelings for me right now Ayase-san" I said and noticed that hurt look on her eyes she bowed her head and said

"I-I understand well we just met what was I thinking, stupid Eli" she bump her head softly with her hand and gave me a hurtful smile, I noticed that her hand was shaking.

"I-I'll take my leave, sorry for taking your time Sonoda-san" she hurriedly walked towards the door but I stopped her.

Gently grabbing hold of her wrist to make her stay she looked back at me, I notice tears were visible on her eyes, I hate myself for making her cry.

"Sonoda-san?" she whispered, I looked at her straight in the eyes and said

"I know I told you that I cannot return your feelings right now but I'm willing to get to know you more…If you'll let me?" she looked at me with a shocked expression and then she suddenly hugged me, I hugged her back trying to comfort her by slowly caressing her back.

"Thank you, Thank you Sonoda-san" she told me happily as I could feel her tears slowly dampening my uniform

"It's alright Ayase-san" I said reassuringly, she pulled back her crying face is now replaced with big cheery smile I felt her put a finger on my lips and said

"Please call me Eli, Umi-chan" she said playfully.

The way she calls my name brings a familiar sensation on my chest, embarrassed I furiously blushed and tried calling her by her name.

"O-Ok E-E-Eli"

' _Ah I stuttered'_

The next day Eli came by our classroom and invited me for lunch. We arrived at the rooftop, which was completely empty, Eli opened her packed lunch and looked worriedly at me as I only have bread with me. I stopped bringing packed lunch with me ever since I entered my second year. Eli insisted to share her lunch with me which I protested but gave up as soon as she gave me the 'I won't take no for an answer' look. Looking over I saw that her food consist of unfamiliar food but from the looks of it, it looks delicious. I didn't notice that I was staring hungrily at the packed lunch but I snapped out of it when I heard her giggle.

"You look too hungry to just eat bread for lunch" she said with a smile, she grabbed her chopsticks and pick up some of the unfamiliar food and slowly lifted it on the level of my mouth.

"Here try it, its stroganoff"

Blushing at the thought her feeding me I slowly leaned in and ate some of the _stroganoff_

' _T-this is heavenly'_

"Delicious…" I quietly said, she giggle and smiled brightly with extreme happiness on her face.

"Really?! Thank you, I made it myself" Eli said still smiling brightly and continued to feed me while also feeding herself.

' _We look like a real couple'_

After that we just talked about each other, I found out that she's fond of eating chocolates, she also likes to dance, and that she has a sister named Arisa.

Two weeks had passed Eli continuously invites me for lunch sometimes I go and invite her and sometimes we go eat crepes after school.

But I was surprised when I saw you suddenly appear out of nowhere. My heart skipped a beat as soon as I saw you, I composed myself and formally said

"Minami-san what do I owe you of something?" that came out cold I noticed as I saw you look at me with that hurt look on your face and smiled at me.

"Nothing, just that I haven't heard of you for a while, Umi-chan" hearing you say my name makes my heart speed up, but not how it was before.

"Didn't you tell me to get away from you? I'm just doing what I was asked" as soon as I said those word I felt someone hugged me looking down I saw you holding on to me tightly as if I'd vanish if you let go.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I-I didn't mean to" you were crying…Seeing you cry like this makes me want to punch myself.

"I don't want things to fall apart, please…"

' _Stop'_

"I-I want to go back to the t-things they were used to"

' _don't cry'_

"Please…Umi-chan" you begged, I put a hand on your shoulder for you to look up and wiped your tears with my free hand I gently hugged you and caressed your back in a form of comfort and whispered

"Don't cry…Kotori…Don't cry" I felt you hug me back and was tightly holding on to me calling my name over and over again.

"Umi-chan, Umi-chan, Umi-chan" you whispered, I smiled to myself thinking that things would go back to the way it used to.

The next day I found myself in between you and Eli as both of you looked at each other suspiciously. We went on the rooftop as it was the only place where there aren't any people around. I brought yakisoba today for lunch as I feel like eating one today.

"Umi/Umi-chan stop eating that" both of you said in unison, you looked at each other as if you were silently arguing

"But this is all I have for lunch"

I saw you smile and said

"It's ok we can share" you smiled as you opened your packed lunch revealing neatly arranged rows of food

"No we'll share" Eli suddenly said as if arguing with you as she picked up another unfamiliar food and brought it over my mouth

"it's minted salmon" she said as I quickly ate the food knowing that it'll be good because I know Eli cooked it. I don't know but I think I like her, whenever she's near me I'll do anything to protect her smile and how my heart skips a beat whenever she calls my name.

"Umi-chan, here" you were holding out a tako which looked delicious compared to the normal, quickly leaning in to eat the squid I was amazed at how delicious it was like my mom's cooking.

The both of you continued feeding me, my yakisoba completely forgotten.

"Hey Umi, I was wondering if you have plans tomorrow?" Eli suddenly asked, looking over to my schedule I have no plans tomorrow except for helping in the dojo.

"Not much why?" I asked she suddenly blushed

"I was wondering if you'd like to come with me to the newly opened amusement park near the plaza tomorrow?" she said while fidgeting, I caught a glimpse of you frowning as if you were against the idea.

"Sure it would be an honor" I said gently smiling at her

"Do you mind if I come?" You suddenly said, she looked over at you frowning for a little bit but shifted into a smile she said it was ok.

We decided to meet up in the entrance of the park. I was the first to arrive and was patiently waiting. I chose to wear blue skinny jeans, a simple black t-shirt topped off with a blue jacket and a black rubber shoes.

"Umi-chan" I heard a familiar voice called my name, I look over and saw you at a distance, you were wearing a light green Sunday dress. I waved at you as you reached my place

"Sorry I'm late"

"It's ok I was not waiting for too long"

You smiled gently and stand by my side, you were a little too close as I can feel your…Umm…chest on my arm. Blushing furiously I tried to compose my heart rate

' _hang in there Sonoda'_

"Boop" I felt something poke my cheek and what I saw made my breath hitch. Eli was standing there, nothing out of the ordinary, she was just wearing a simple short shorts, a light blue blouse, and a sandals. She was wearing a really simple outfit but it really suits her well.

"E-Eli"

"Sorry if I arrived last Umi" she smiled apologetically

"No no It's alright I wasn't waiting for too long"

She giggled and looked to my side where and smiled at you, you smiled back but it was a little bit forced.

"Good morning Ayase-san"

"Good morning Minami-san"

The both of you greeted each other I smiled as I see that both of you are getting along fine.

"Well then shall we go inside?" You asked as you continue to cling on me, gulping I nodded my head to answer yes.

The three of us started with the rides, Eli suggested the teapots first which made me sick but seeing her smile made me forget about it, you suggested to ride the roller coaster which was fun…maybe it was fun because the both of you were really enjoying it.

The rides were fun but we had a break on one of the benches, I was really exhausted and I was wiping some sweat on my forehead because of the intense rides. Looking over to my side the both of you were eating some ice cream, I smiled at how contented both of your faces look. You opened your eyes and smiled at me, I blushed and looked away as I was caught staring.

"Umi-chan here you must be tired have some of my ice cream"

You slowly move your ice cream towards my mouth, I blushed at how embarrassing this is and that how you could have the courage to do this in public. I tried protesting but you did something that I could never say no to.

"Umi-chan…Please!"

Sighing at how unfair you are I decided to just accept your offer, I slowly licked your ice cream

' _Strawberry'_

You smiled at me and licked your ice cream, I froze as I realized what I've done, I did something shameless…an…indirect kiss.

"Kotori?" I heard an unfamiliar voice called your name

"Souma-kun?"

Oh yeah your boyfriend I forgot about him, I saw you stand as you hugged him.

"What are you doing here?" you asked

"Oh nothing I was just trying this new amusement park" he smiled at you and you blushed slightly.

"So anyways seeing as you're already here, wanna come with me?"

"Where are we going?"

"We'll just roam around and ride some of the rides" he said with a smile, he turned to look at me.

"Who are these?" he asked

"Oh these are my friends, the blue haired girl is Sonoda Umi and the other one is Ayase Eli"

You said cheerfully, I saw him making his way towards Eli and held his hand up

"Hey I'm Kirigaya Souma pleasure to meet you"

I saw Eli smiled but there's a hint of annoyance in her smile

"Ayase Eli" I noticed Eli making her way towards me, she slowly hugged my right arm

"Anyways Umi let's go" she cheerfully said completely forgetting about the boy, I looked at you and saw you frowning as Eli dragged me somewhere.

Eli and I enjoyed each other's company, we played games and rode more rides as we still have some energy left.

The sun was setting when we agreed to take a break and we just sat the enjoying the comfortable silence, Eli suddenly stood up and said that she's wants to buy something for her sister I asked her if she wants me to accompany her but she told me to just rest there. I watch her disappear from my sight but then everything became black and I heard a very familiar voice.

"Umi-chan"

Removing the hands on my eyes I could see you smiling down on me, you sat down beside me and handed me a bottle of water, as I was reaching out for the water I noticed your hands was shaking, I look up to see you crying

"Umi-chan…"

You gently hugged me and cried hard on my shoulder.

"Kotori what happen?"

"He…Souma-kun…"

"What Kotori?"

"He was cheating on me"

I froze as soon as I heard that

' _how could that guy cheat on her?'_

"He told me to wait for him, he was taking so long then I saw him kissing another girl"

Clenching my jaw, I gently caressed your back.

"He doesn't deserve you, he could not see how beautiful you are and how he wasted his chance to date you"

I said as I tried to comfort you

"He was lucky that you took interest in him but he was an idiot to leave someone like you"

You pulled back a little just enough to let you see my face, I looked directly at your eyes as I continued to comfort you.

What happened next caught me off guard, you suddenly kissed me out of nowhere. My eyes widening as I was so shocked at the sudden kiss. This could have made my heart jump from happiness but now it's different.

I heard something dropped and I quickly look over to where that sound came from.

"Eli…"

Eli was there standing her eyes widened as she witnessed the kiss, she bowed her head as her hand was on her chest shaking.

"I'm sorry for interrupting something, I was just…"

She didn't get to finish her sentence as she suddenly ran away, tears were streaming down her face.

"ELI!" I was about to run to her when I felt a hand grab my wrist, I saw you grabbing hold of my wrist.

"Umi-chan are you going to leave me?! I thought you liked me?! Umi-chan please…don't leave me…I-I love you…"

I looked at you as you started to cry once more, I hugged you but slowly pulled back.

"I won't leave you ever, but I can't be the replacement though I'll be with you as your friend…" I said while looking at you with a comforting gaze, your eyes widened as tears were flowing from them.

I stood up as I was doing so I handed you my handkerchief.

"I'm sorry"

After that I quickly ran to where Eli ran off to, as I was searching for her I caught a glimpse of blonde hair.

Looking over to that direction she was sitting alone on a bench, running over to her I panted

"Finally *pant* I *pant* found you" catching my breath I saw Eli looking at me surprised

Composing myself I called out to her name.

"Eli…"

"I'm sorry that was childish of me to run away"

"Eli"

"Let's go back to where Minami-san was-"

"ELI!"

She looked at me wide eyed as that was the first time I ever shouted at her.

She looked away as I look straight in her eyes. Walking towards her she took a step back, her shoulders shaking.

"I'm fine U-Umi just go back t-to where M-Minami-san is."

I looked at you without saying anything

"Please…just…go…" Eli weakly said as tears were falling freely from her eyes.

' _I made her cry again'_

Eli was looking at the ground as tears were dropping from her eyes, I took this as a chance to close our distance. Hugging her carefully as if she was a fragile object, I noticed that she has stopped crying. Lifting her face up, I wipe her tears with my thumb.

"I love you…"

I said with sincerity in my voice as I looked at her lovingly. Her eyes widen as soon as she hears me say those words.

"W-What are you saying Umi?!" She shouted while she was heavily blushing.

"I'm saying that I love you?" I giggled at how red your face could get

' _cute'_

"But-But what about Minami-san?"

"We were never an item, Eli. She suddenly kissed me out of nowhere and that was when you showed up" I said

"When?"

"huh?"

"When did you start liking me?" she asked as she looked at me with curiousity.

"hmmm. I don't actually know but whenever I'm near you I could picture myself by your side forever. Oh but maybe it started when you first called my name." I grinned, I saw her look at another direction.

She pouted as she shyly look back at me.

"You…really mean it?"

I looked at her with a loving gaze and smiled gently at her. I cupped her left cheek and leaned in closing our distance, I feel her lips on mine.

I opened my eyes a little and saw that shocked look on your face. Pulling back immediately I bowed my head and apologize.

"S-Sorry Eli I didn't know wh-"

I never got to finish my sentence as I felt someone hook their arms on my neck, I saw you smiling at me radiantly I blushed at the sight.

"Wow, how bold of you U-M-I" as she spelled my name she slowly leaned in and kissed me. My eyes widened a little but slowly closed my them as I feel your body close to mine. I snaked my arms on her waist pulling her closer, she pulled back as she leaned her head with mine.

"I love you too Sonoda Umi"


End file.
